"Nearly Coherent: A Legitimate News Organization"
Podcasts, Politics, Pop-Culture

Nearly Coherent: A Legitimate News Organization

I kinda love this week’s episode of Nearly Coherent. You should give it a listen.

 Jeff attempts to ignore the news, but eD! is an ass and pop’s Jeff’s media-blackout bubble! Everyone enjoys some high-quality signs from the Women’s March! A definitive ranking of hottest United States Presidents! And we reveal the shocking truth as to why Dave is still not engaged!

"Nearly Coherent: A Dementia-Preventing Fart"

Nearly Coherent: A Dementia-Preventing Fart

Oh, look, it’s today’s episode of Nearly Coherent!

In this episode, the Intern contributes some news stories she wants to talk about! Not to be outdone, Dave brings along two pointless news stories, because he’s a jealous bitch and will not be outdone by the new person! We also discuss who would probably survive longest in prison, familial email habits, awkward childhood memories and important medical research about farts!

What? I warned you there’d be more postings happening on here. Sure, I said “at least one a day”, and this is the fourth post today, but, at the time of writing this, that’s the end of today’s updates, so you can relax.

Probably, anyway.

"Nearly Coherent: New Year, New-ish Us"

Nearly Coherent: New Year, New-ish Us

Behold, last week’s much-better-than-usual episode of Nearly Coherent!

We’re restarting this mess for the new year! In today’s episode, Dave brings two(!) of his garbage news stories to really start things off horribly, everyone looks back on the tenth anniversary of the announcement of the iPhone, and Jeff wonders if his daughter might be a sociopath!

It’s a heartwarming episode the entire family can share! (You probably shouldn’t share this with your family, though, unless you want your family to be subjected to some real weird stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

"My New 2017 Hotness"
Incoherent Rambling, Meta

My New 2017 Hotness

Like many of you, I couldn’t wait for 2016 to be over. Between the personal parade of misery that I was stuck in, the existential dread we all experienced regarding the state of the world, and the onslaught of deaths of beloved public figures, 2016 sucked all the buttholes.

That said, I’m not usually one to buy into the whole “New Year, New Me” mantra that fills the minds of every partially-optimistic person at the start of the new year. Sure, I want to try to do better, but I’m usually stubborn and pretty well-set in my ways, so sweeping change is not a thing I’m often looking for.


2016 was an exceptionally awful year full of new horribleness at every turn, and we have no idea what 2017 is going to throw at us. In light of this, doesn’t it make sense for someone to break with their conventional thinking and maybe strive for something new? It might not work, and it might not be better, but at least it would give that person a shot at things going well. With that in mind, I spent the first few weeks of January gathering my nonsense, sitting it down and figuring out just how I’m going to operate in the next year. And, against every instinct I have, I am going to lay it out for you here, in order to give myself a sense that someone will hold me accountable.

It’s horrifying, but horrifying can be good. So here’s the deal:

This site will be home base for all my stupid internet shenanigans.

What does this mean for you? Way, waaaaaaaaaaaaay more frequent updates, usually in the form of linked posts. Whether it be new episodes of my podcast, things I’ve written as part of my consulting work, things I’ve had a hand in creating elsewhere, tweets that I think need to live in immortality, whatever, it’ll be here. This means you can more or less expect an update every day, which might drive you crazy, but it might also be awesome. Who knows!

This site will also be home to stuff I create that has no home elsewhere.

One of my goals for 2017 is to write more frequently than I have in the previous decade or so. Part of the reason I didn’t put out a lot of work in the past was due to pre-judgement on my part — I can see the flaws in everything I write, including this, and I am a bit of a perfectionist that doesn’t like putting things out there that I don’t think “work”. However, I have become more aware of two things in the past year:

  1. I have seen professional writers making stupid, basic mistakes in things they’ve written, and those schmucks get paid for it. Maybe I’ve been a bit too hard on myself?
  2. If the first year of my podcast has shown me anything, it’s that you can put out absolute crap and, as long as you put out enough stuff with enough frequency, that dreaded “I can’t believe I did that, what a moron I am” goes away pretty damn quickly. And the more stuff you put out, the better you get at it, so that feeling comes less frequently as time goes on, anyway.

So, in short, expect more original stuff here, too. It might be weird, it might not make sense, it might outright suck, but the next thing might be better. Then again, it might not be. But the trying will be the fun of it (for me, anyway).

There you have it: a short, self-indulgent plan for what is going to happen with this site, and me, for the course of 2017. Hopefully you’ll stick around and see things get awesome or, possibly, stick around and watch me crash and burn completely. Either way, it’ll be entertaining!

"Kill the Apple Event (Or: My Reaction To Today’s “Let Us Loop You In” Event In One Click-Bait Headline)"
Incoherent Rambling, News, Technology

Kill the Apple Event (Or: My Reaction To Today’s “Let Us Loop You In” Event In One Click-Bait Headline)

A few days ago, Jason Snell wrote about how Steve Jobs transformed product announcements. Of product announcements before this transformation, Snell had this to say:

Now, it’s not as if Apple didn’t do keynotes at its events before Jobs came back. (And of course, other tech companies did keynotes at events like the Consumer Electronics Show.) But all of these were gray, businesslike affairs — glorified press conferences or nerdy product announcements accompanied by boring PowerPoints. None of them could hold a candle to what Jobs did with the events once he took control of them.

There is no event that best encapsulates the pomp and pageantry and overall spectacle of a Steve Jobs Apple event like the announcement of the iPhone in 2007. Even now, knowing exactly what was coming and how the keynote would play out word for word, you can still feel the excitement in the room that day.

Apple’s media events have been of varying quality since then, with today’s “Let Us Loop You In” event being a particular low point in my estimation. Admittedly, there were events under Jobs that were also awful — I’m looking at you, iPod Socks/iPod Hifi announcement — but they were awful because the products being released were absolute shit, not due to the quality of the presentation. They might have been selling a turd, but they showed that turd off with panache the likes of which you could not imagine.

Today’s event had exactly the opposite problem, and it’s a problem that Apple, frankly, has been dealing with for quite some time. And while I love going on Twitter to mock what’s going on, it is starting to feel like I’m picking on someone who’s just trying their best but is really not good at what they’re doing, like I’m just being mean.

I hate to say it, but I think it’s time Apple stops with this sort of media event.

Continue reading “Kill the Apple Event (Or: My Reaction To Today’s “Let Us Loop You In” Event In One Click-Bait Headline)”

"Let’s Have Some Apple Event Live-Snark! Hooray!"
Incoherent Rambling, Live!, Technology

Let’s Have Some Apple Event Live-Snark! Hooray!

The fine folks at Apple are holding what is likely their last media event at their Town Hall on Apple’s current campus before switching over to the new, giant-ass auditorium at their new crazy spaceship campus that will open up next year. A lot of products were introduced there — the iPod, the Xserve, the ugly and horrible iPod Hi-Fi — so expect some sort of “this room has a lot of history in it” self-congratulatory nonsense before we get to the new stuff Apple has lined up.

You can watch the event on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac by visiting this page or on an Apple TV via the Apple Events app, which you will either have to install from the App Store (on the latest generation) or has magically appeared on your home screen (on earlier generations).

I will be live-snarking the hell out of this event on Twitter — which you can either follow along with by following me on Twitter or by simply clicking the “Continue Reading” link below to see a live, regularly-updating collection of my tweets (and the tweets of others that I found amusing) during the event. I’ll also be back later to opine on whatever I feel like, presuming I feel like I have anything else to say on the matter beyond the obvious “here’s my money, Tim Cook, make things appear right now, please and thank you”.

Continue reading “Let’s Have Some Apple Event Live-Snark! Hooray!”

"A Tale to Be Told Begins Thus"
Incoherent Rambling

A Tale to Be Told Begins Thus

Hey, there. You might be coming from following me on Twitter, or from the link I threw up on my old website, eD! The Musical, or because you were Googling for Velociraptors Wearing Jetpacks and Running With Scissors, which just happens to be the featured image for this post. 1 Only you know the answer to how you got here, since I don’t really feel like digging into my site-statistics to figure it out.

Anyway, hi, I’m eD!, and this is my new home for all my internet stupidity. Here you will find assorted musings on a variety of topics, notes on stuff I’m working on, announcements on stuff I’ve finished working on and you can go look at, and whatever other stuff tickles my fancy. You will occasionally find things here that don’t particularly tickle my aforementioned fancy as well… For example, this very post!

I wanted my the post that kicked off this site to be a variety of things, you see: smart, funny, insightful, relevant, and so damn good that Taylor Swift would look up my phone number to call me to ask me on a date. And while I had ideas that could check off a number of those requirements, nothing was coming together in order to be the mass of Swift-charming goodness I wanted it to be. Therefore, I decided to wait until my muse got back from its spa weekend in Tahoe.

That was three months ago. Time flies when you’re a narcissistic perfectionist who hates their own work, y’know?

I’ve decided that instead of waiting around for inspiration — and therefore stalling further on my plans for Internet Awesomeness — I’d throw up this half-assed post at one o’clock in the morning. It may not be smart, or particularly funny, or anywhere near insightful, but it does have a weighty-sounding title that I totally ripped off from Ra’s al Ghul from an episode in the third season of Arrow, and I guess that’s something, right? I’m going to attempt to post something here every weekday but, as the sub-title reads, things may be a bit more semi-regular for a while. If you wanna keep up, you can always follow the site feed on Twitter, or Tumblr, or just follow me here using my handy RSS feed. Or, if you’re like my mom and want even more email coming at you on a regular basis, you can scroll down and sign up to get new stuff sent to you that way.

I’m sure I’ll update you on some of the reasons for why I’ve moved from eTM to here, and other important stuff you should probably know about this site, but that’ll have to come later, so you have that to look forward to! Yay!

And T-Swizzle? If you happen to be reading this and were somehow charmed, let me know.

  1. Sadly, I don’t know where it originated from, or else I’d link you to the creator of this awesomeness. If you happen to know, please get in touch, won’t you?