Go! Listen! Enjoy!
- Unless you don’t believe in math, which I guess is a thing? ↩
In this episode of The Nearly Coherent Podcast: I celebrated my birthday by visiting a bar and singing ballads with Dave! Jeff visited a casino in Pennsylvania! An angry Cheeto made some hysterical errors in a speech! And everyone offers some high-quality life advice that probably won’t end poorly, but who knows!
In this episode of The Nearly Coherent Podcast: Jeff enjoys playing the lottery! Everyone talks about what they’d wish for if they found a genie! Dave has a fan club(?)!
Unrelated to the episode, doesn’t “improbable” look like it’s spelled incorrectly? It’s not! It’s just a weird freakin’ word like that, you guys.
After not endorsing the sentient Cheeto of Hate that is running for President of the United States last night, Ted Cruz doubled down this morning by saying he’s “not in the habit of supporting people who attack my wife and attack my father”.
I’m getting this weird feeling in my brain.
It feels like… respect.
Respect for Ted Cruz.
…we live in a weird-ass world, you guys.
Starting in late 1985, Schwartz spent eighteen months with Trump—camping out in his office, joining him on his helicopter, tagging along at meetings, and spending weekends with him at his Manhattan apartment and his Florida estate. During that period, Schwartz felt, he had got to know him better than almost anyone else outside the Trump family. Until Schwartz posted the tweet, though, he had not spoken publicly about Trump for decades. It had never been his ambition to be a ghostwriter, and he had been glad to move on. But, as he watched a replay of the new candidate holding forth for forty-five minutes, he noticed something strange: over the decades, Trump appeared to have convinced himself that he had written the book. Schwartz recalls thinking, “If he could lie about that on Day One—when it was so easily refuted—he is likely to lie about anything.”
In this episode of The Nearly Coherent Podcast, eD!’s excited about a new Roy Rogers opening in New Jersey and talks about how he’s going to eat so many holsters of fries! Jeff enjoys eating street meat in general and more than eating at an Applebee’s in Times Square specifically! And everyone ranks their favorite fast food franchises!
In case you couldn’t tell, we were kinda hungry when we recorded this episode. It happens, y’know?
In this episode of The Nearly Coherent Podcast, eD! and Jeff discuss some of the new stuff Apple announced at their WWDC keynote yesterday, question if “Dick Tracy” still holds up as a movie, get into a Twitter account dick-measuring contest between Jeff and Dave, and try to figure out how Jeff will send his friends weird ASCII-art images mixed with emojis if emojis are now going to be three times bigger.
The only thing that annoys me about this is that they didn’t include a GIF of Hillary dropping a mic because that’s what she just did you guys.
In this episode of Nearly Coherent, eD! reveals what the medical diagnosis is in regard to his case of dick-toe, Jeff tries to change eD!’s mind on salad dressing, and, in the greatest news of all, Dave doesn’t have a microphone, so he doesn’t talk all that much.
In this episode of Nearly Coherent, eD! is suffering from what he’s calling “dick-toe”! Jeff is suffering from what doctors are calling “kidney stones”! Dave is suffering from concern over the tomato situation in Nigeria! eD! & Jeff basically ignore Dave’s suffering in order to make more dick jokes! EVERYONE WINS (except Dave).