Nearly Coherent: Slapping the Bishop

The Nearly Coherent Podcast

It’s Tuesday, and here I am, remembering to cross-post a link to the new episode of Nearly Coherent!

A lively discussion of the science of Coca-Cola at McDonald’s, the magic of Popeye’s mashed potatoes and gravy, idiots rushing into burning buildings, and, of course, unicycles. You know, all the normal stuff people talk about when they get together.

If you missed the other episodes, let’s get you all caught up:

And I promise to never let you fall that far behind ever again! 1

  1. Probably. Don’t hold me to that. 

Nearly Coherent: A Dementia-Preventing Fart

The Nearly Coherent Podcast

Oh, look, it’s today’s episode of Nearly Coherent!

In this episode, the Intern contributes some news stories she wants to talk about! Not to be outdone, Dave brings along two pointless news stories, because he’s a jealous bitch and will not be outdone by the new person! We also discuss who would probably survive longest in prison, familial email habits, awkward childhood memories and important medical research about farts!

What? I warned you there’d be more postings happening on here. Sure, I said “at least one a day”, and this is the fourth post today, but, at the time of writing this, that’s the end of today’s updates, so you can relax.

Probably, anyway.

SUPERSWANK!: Your Passwords Probably Suck


I wrote an essay on passwords for SUPERSWANK! today:

As someone who deals with passwords created by users of varying comfort levels with technology on a day-to-day basis as their job, it amazes me how horrible *everyone* is at password creation and management. Unfortunately, the odds are pretty good that your passwords aren’t great, either. If you’d like to improve on that — and I see no reason why you wouldn’t, unless you’re a crazy-person — here’s some things you can do.

You might learn something! Or not. I don’t know what you know, obviously.

Nearly Coherent: New Year, New-ish Us

The Nearly Coherent Podcast

Behold, last week’s much-better-than-usual episode of Nearly Coherent!

We’re restarting this mess for the new year! In today’s episode, Dave brings two(!) of his garbage news stories to really start things off horribly, everyone looks back on the tenth anniversary of the announcement of the iPhone, and Jeff wonders if his daughter might be a sociopath!

It’s a heartwarming episode the entire family can share! (You probably shouldn’t share this with your family, though, unless you want your family to be subjected to some real weird stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

My New 2017 Hotness

Fireworks. They Go Boom.

Like many of you, I couldn’t wait for 2016 to be over. Between the personal parade of misery that I was stuck in, the existential dread we all experienced regarding the state of the world, and the onslaught of deaths of beloved public figures, 2016 sucked all the buttholes.

That said, I’m not usually one to buy into the whole “New Year, New Me” mantra that fills the minds of every partially-optimistic person at the start of the new year. Sure, I want to try to do better, but I’m usually stubborn and pretty well-set in my ways, so sweeping change is not a thing I’m often looking for.


2016 was an exceptionally awful year full of new horribleness at every turn, and we have no idea what 2017 is going to throw at us. In light of this, doesn’t it make sense for someone to break with their conventional thinking and maybe strive for something new? It might not work, and it might not be better, but at least it would give that person a shot at things going well. With that in mind, I spent the first few weeks of January gathering my nonsense, sitting it down and figuring out just how I’m going to operate in the next year. And, against every instinct I have, I am going to lay it out for you here, in order to give myself a sense that someone will hold me accountable.

It’s horrifying, but horrifying can be good. So here’s the deal:

This site will be home base for all my stupid internet shenanigans.

What does this mean for you? Way, waaaaaaaaaaaaay more frequent updates, usually in the form of linked posts. Whether it be new episodes of my podcast, things I’ve written as part of my consulting work, things I’ve had a hand in creating elsewhere, tweets that I think need to live in immortality, whatever, it’ll be here. This means you can more or less expect an update every day, which might drive you crazy, but it might also be awesome. Who knows!

This site will also be home to stuff I create that has no home elsewhere.

One of my goals for 2017 is to write more frequently than I have in the previous decade or so. Part of the reason I didn’t put out a lot of work in the past was due to pre-judgement on my part — I can see the flaws in everything I write, including this, and I am a bit of a perfectionist that doesn’t like putting things out there that I don’t think “work”. However, I have become more aware of two things in the past year:

  1. I have seen professional writers making stupid, basic mistakes in things they’ve written, and those schmucks get paid for it. Maybe I’ve been a bit too hard on myself?
  2. If the first year of my podcast has shown me anything, it’s that you can put out absolute crap and, as long as you put out enough stuff with enough frequency, that dreaded “I can’t believe I did that, what a moron I am” goes away pretty damn quickly. And the more stuff you put out, the better you get at it, so that feeling comes less frequently as time goes on, anyway.

So, in short, expect more original stuff here, too. It might be weird, it might not make sense, it might outright suck, but the next thing might be better. Then again, it might not be. But the trying will be the fun of it (for me, anyway).

There you have it: a short, self-indulgent plan for what is going to happen with this site, and me, for the course of 2017. Hopefully you’ll stick around and see things get awesome or, possibly, stick around and watch me crash and burn completely. Either way, it’ll be entertaining!